Last night, North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il died.
Since then, news of the demise of the diminutive despot has not only caused Team America: World Police references to trend on Twitter, but provided hilarious reactions from the internationally-aware to those who have no idea what happened.
While at a restaurant in Las Vegas, “actor” and national train-wreck Charlie Sheen accidentally posted his mobile phone number publicly on Twitter instead of sending it directly to… Justin Bieber?
My awesome rendering of what the tweet looked like.
The post was very swiftly taken down, but not before some of Sheen’s 5.5 million followers took to their telephones.
According to The New York Post, Charlie’s phone immediately went into meltdown. It was ringing wildly, and he got 1,800 text messages in minutes. Charlie saw the funny side and answered the phone a few times, saying things like ‘Ray’s Pizza’ and ‘Winning.’
But his phone just continued ringing and buzzing and eventually just completely melted down[.] Charlie was, like, ‘I guess I need a new phone.’
Practicing your pizza place prose might not be a bad idea, Charlie. What with your recent employment history, child support payments, and the price of cocaine being what it is, you might need to pick up a few hours at Ray’s in the near future.
And why were you hollerin’ at Justin Bieber?
This is a very slightly edited version of Mary & Kaitlin’s pretty damn accurate list.
1. Take pictures of their feet.
2. Express their extreme annoyance at this work day today and hint that it deserves a much needed alcoholic beverage at the end of it. WINK WINK.
3. Thank their hubby for being the best hubby in the world while their hubby is sitting right next to them.
4. Complain about bad service at restaurants. Never eating at Applebee’s AGAIN!
5. Express their extreme excitement to see their best friends tonight, Britney, Whitney, and Sarah!!! LUV U GIRLSSS!!
6. Take pictures of undeserving food.
7. Make their status the song lyrics of any Kings of Leon song.
8. Take a picture of someone they deem inferior to themselves in some way with the question: Really?
9. Write angry letters to companies (Dear EZ PARK, I hate you!), unorganized groups of people (Dear slutty freshmen who think that leggings can be worn as pants…), and non-entities (Dear unseasonably cold weather, WTF?!)
10. Subtly yell at no one in particular while being very specific. Wow, it’s hard to believe that you think you know someone and then they turn around and STAB YOU IN THE BACK. Will never make that mistake again. EVER.
11. Document exceedingly mundane activites for the day: Getting my oil changed today. Then getting much needed groceries. Then it’s off to the post office to mail some bills. Then stopping by the gyno. Will probably need some gas by the end, so I may stop at the gas station. But I might be tired so I’ll probably just get it in the morning on my way to pick up a prescription. But if I’m not very tired I’ll probably just get the gas on the way home. Again, unless I am tired.
12. Express their distaste for Facebook on Facebook and threaten to leave Facebook to their Facebook friends.
13. Take pictures wearing a lot of makeup and looking really preppy while simultaneously making a “hard” facial expression and holding up what they consider to be a gangster sign. Potential caption: Straight thuggin.
14. Ask seemingly redundant questions. It’s cool to do a bunch of meth and babysit 20 six year-olds, right?
15. Write a status in another language. Parce que, Je suis tres intelligente!!
It’s day three FAILers, and yesterday’s Battle of the Cheez victory went to Rage Comics okayface. Today’s a new day and a new battle, so let’s regroup and march on for a FAIL Blog victory on Autocowrecks! Remember to vote the polls on Set Phasers to LOL and Art of Trolling.