I Threw It On The Ground

I was walking through the city streets
and a man walks up to me and hands me the latest energy drink.
“Run faster, jump higher.”
Man, I’m not gonna let you poison me.
I threw it on the ground.
You must think I’m a joke.
I ain’t gonna be part of your system – man!
Pump that garbage in another man’s veins!

I go to my favorite hot dog stand and the dude says,
“You come here all the time! Here’s one for free.”
I said, “Man! What I look like? A charity case?”
I took it – and threw it on the ground!
I don’t need your handouts – I’m an adult!
Please! You can’t buy me hot dog man!

At the farmer’s market with my so called girlfriend.
She hands me her cell phone – says it’s my dad.
Man, this ain’t my dad – this is a cell phone!
I threw it on the ground! What, you think I’m stupid?
I’m not a part of your system. My dad’s not a phone – duh!

Some poser hands me cake at a birthday party.
What you want me to do with this? Eat it?
Happy birthday to the ground!
I threw the rest of the cake too!
Welcome to the real word jackass!
So many things to throw on the ground.
Like this, and this, and that, and even this.
I’m an adult!

Two Hollywood phonies try to give me their autograph.
Ground! Nobody wants your autograph, phonies!
Then the two phonies got up, turned out they had a taser…
and they tased me in the butt hole…
fell to the ground – the phonies didn’t let up.
Tasing on my butt hole over and over…
I was screaming and squirming.
My butthole was on fire!

The moral of the story is…
You can’t trust the system – man!